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Post by lucydales on Jun 28, 2008 11:04:02 GMT -1
Just read this, so sorry.  |
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Post by felldale on Jun 29, 2008 5:01:09 GMT -1
Only just caught up as well. I am so sorry, Tina. RIP Curlyx |
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Post by tinastephenson on Jun 29, 2008 20:27:27 GMT -1
Curly is home..... I picked him up from crematorium in the most beautiful oak casket. He has his name on a brass plaque on the top. I always said my beautiful boy would come indoors one day and now he has....
Please tell me when do you stop crying every time you mention their name, or mention rainbow bridge, or someone says 'you seem to be coping', I feel like a huge hole has developed in my life, I cannot believe how much he filled it!
He was my best soul mate, certainly never to be replaced. I miss him so so badly.....
The terrible part is I feel he did tell me something was wrong.. one day I turned him out, some 8 weeks ago, another livery owner told me he laid down soon after I left him, I was going to look at a truck, as soon as I got back I went over to him again and he got up but unusual for him, another day I turned him out but he stayed with me, did not want to go off, but eyes bright, seemed ok, but obviously was not! I even thought that as a new horse had been turned out in his paddock he was fed up, we went into school to do join up, but he was so attentive he joined up immediately..... I was planning to do parelli with him as he was so so intelligent and needed to use his brain or he became balshy!
I feel so guilty because maybe just maybe I should have noticed something earlier although if I had called vet it would have been to say something is wrong but dont know what.....
sorry, but i miss him so so much....
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Post by dollylanedales on Jun 29, 2008 21:18:45 GMT -1
No, Tina, do not feel guilty.. There is nothing to feel guilty about. Its just a natural reactions to the death of a pony you loved very much.
I remember the day Big Molly our Dales x died. All the others came for their feed. It was snowing, and really cold. Molly did not appear. I walked over the field muttering and grumbling about horses, and found her down, unable to get up by the wall. Afterwards I felt guilty, thinking if only I had gone with their tea sooner, if only I had looked at her before it went dark. But it would not have made any difference to what had happened, and neither would the situation with Curly have changed.
Its hard, but you have to accept you did nothing wrong, you did all you could to help Curly, and more. As to the crying, when I lost my first pony, I cried every day for weeks, could not mention her name, could not look at photos, even going in the field to feed the others was hard. I kept thinking I could see her under the tree .....then suddenly, the tears are replaced with smiles, as you remember all the good times, and you can look at photos and not cry. It does take time, but honestly, in time, you will start to feel better. you won't forget your special horse though!!
Over the past 30 years horses have come and gone, but Cindy remains my special pony, and I am sure Curly will remain yours.
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Post by Debbie on Jun 29, 2008 21:50:42 GMT -1
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Post by harveydales on Jun 30, 2008 5:23:30 GMT -1
Oh Tina, I can only echo what Mair and Debbie have said but my heart goes out to you. I don't think you ever stop grieving completely but as time passes you start to remember the happy times and those special close moments more and more. You really did all you could and you gave Curly a wonderful life. You were so understanding of his problems such as his head shaking. He was very lucky to have such a caring and loving owner. It does get easier. |
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Post by leannwithconnie on Jun 30, 2008 14:40:44 GMT -1
Can't add any further words of comfort as what has already been said is true. You will take as long as it takes to grieve for him but there will come a time when you are able to think and talk about him without feeling so very sad. Nothing wrong with have a good cry so please don't be so hard on yourself.
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Post by SuzieP on Jun 30, 2008 21:10:46 GMT -1
I've just found this thread and read it through from start to finish. I'm so dreadfully sorry, Tina - you did all you could to save Curly...but sometimes the very best care isn't enough. If only love were enough, we would never lose our dearest friends.
You couldn't have known he was ill that day eight weeks ago - no-one could. And as soon as you knew you acted immediately.
Sending you all the sympathy in the world. Time does dry the tears - but doesn't take the memories.
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Post by JoM on Jul 5, 2008 18:38:55 GMT -1
Tina, I havent been on here very much recently, so only just seen this thread. I am so sorry for your loss. and hope you are coping as best you can. |
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Post by tinastephenson on Jul 6, 2008 19:45:35 GMT -1
Thank you all for all your advice and support, it has helped so so much during the worst time of my life.....
I can now mention his name without crying, just.... I miss him terribly and I know he can never be replaced.
I will buy another but they will never replace Curly, he just had such a big character, but total respect when he knew you. I loved him to bits.
I have to give massive vote for NFU who have paid so much so quickly with no arguements at all.
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Post by Debbie on Jul 11, 2008 19:08:42 GMT -1
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Post by northmare on Jul 17, 2008 19:07:50 GMT -1
My heart goes out to you. We have all been through it. It is a horrible pain, but it will start to ease with time. It is early days yet. We love them so we need to grieve for them and everyone handles it differently, there are no rules. Please don't feel guilty, you weren't to know what was to come and you did everything you could. Jan x |
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